isaacandzoegan

Granny and Mummy of Isaac and Zoe Gan

Sitting beside me is my mum. :-) In my eyes, my mum is the most attractive woman and the only one I truly love in this world and like a guardian angel, she has been loving and taking care of me for her entire life, unconditionally and affectionately. I thank GOD for her..smucks...In 5 months' time, my mum's status is going to get promoted to a higher level- she's going to be a granny of 2 grandchildren. GOD has fulfilled her long-waited desire to look after her very own grandchildren and I'm very certain, just like how she has brought me up, she will be a very good role model to them. As for my "baby"(Desmond, husband) and I, we look forward being parents of our pair of twins.

Father and Mother of Isaac and Zoe Gan

This photo was taken in Dec 2004 before our wedding. Time really passes by very rapidly and in the next 5 months, Isaac and Zoe are joining the Gan and Chua family.

Life before conception

I still remember what a feat we had when we were trying for babies. Each of us had our own set of problems that made it impossible to have children. As the days dragged by, I could see hopelessness looming over me and each month after my ovulation, I would hope for good news either from the pregnancy kits or the doctor but nothing was further from the truth that everything was negative. I think till todate, I'm not too sure how many pregnancy kits I've bought during that period when we were both trying so hard for babies. I still remember there was once, (and that was indeed the last straw), I bought one pregnancy kit from the pharmacy (borne with hope that I'd get a positive result) and did a test in the toilet and when I saw only one line on the result panel(one line = negative, two lines = positive), I was so devastated that I broke down hysterically in the toilet. Sorrow blended in with total despondance and frustration then and I really felt GOD had been so unfair to us. The future seemed so bleak then, and I could not really see myself getting pregnant. However, as I was crying, I didn't know why I could sense SOMEONE comforting me and deep in my heart, I knew that GOD was right beside me, embracing me. At that moment, I actually braced myself up and told myself not to try so hard making babies anymore. In my mind, I was thinking of my 'baby'(Desmond) and told the LORD that I'm forever going to be a loving wife to him. I returned home and was all smiles when I saw him. "I love you!", whispering to my 'baby' and hugging him like what I usually do, I told him that I would stop trying for babies and in fact had surrendered everything to GOD. Totally unaware of the desperation that I went through in the toilet, my 'baby' agreed to surrender everything to GOD. I didn't want to tell him in order not to cause any unhappiness and worry on his part.

Life went on and the topic of babies was totally out of us. I started to understand why GOD created sex. It is indeed a very sacred act and husbands and wives should not take this element of love out of their relationship. As it is written in the bible, we love because HE first loved us, has been my all time favourite verse and I personally use it to apply to Desmond and my relationship. I made that decision in July after my "last straw" experience. It was an enjoyable one month before my 'baby' was sent to Dubai on a business trip. As usual, I would move back to my holiday camp(this is how Desmond would describe my mum's residence...hahaahha). I knew that my time of the month was arriving so i got ready for it but it looked to me that it would be delayed. I stopped having thoughts of doing pregnancy tests anymore so I just led life as per normal.

Toward the end of the week, I remember taking a nap on my mum's bed and actually saw a vision of a baby wrapped in white linen towel lying down beside me. The baby indeed looked so real. I believe the LORD had given me that vision which I'll remember for life and I moved on my life with a gleam of hope. I collected my 'baby' from the airport and continued our lives enjoyably. One eventful night, I skipped bible studies coz I felt so bloated, the same kinda of feeling one would have before the onset of menstruation, and realised that I couldn't fit into any clothes.